Borderline Balancing Act

So yes, i have been gone way to long , my sorryness will seem too fake so i will skip it.

Im on the rim on a giant glass of red wine, balancing to save my very temporarily pained self. What do you think? Will i get to the other end and hop onto the giant loaf of soft white bread(which im not allowed to eat anymore..THANKS pcod!:P) or will i drunk drown and give in to the scarlet intoxicant of my many many , what seem like, obstacles in the way of just 24 hours of pure bliss....You know the kind that makes ure eyes sparkle like theyre worth a million bucks , the kind that makes your stomach do a flip like you are upside down on the loop of a rollercoaster screaming out alll your woe's and just fallllingg freeeeeee, what do you think?
I want to run way over to the other side of this table, past the finger foods and the butter and even the gigantic turkey and run into your embrace like there's no care in the world!
But will it happen? Can i afford to think of the other side of the table when im hanging on for my dear life on the rim of this beautiful disaster? Which way do i look at it? As a reason to motivate myself to get to the end...or as a eye opener to whats in front of me RIGHT now and what i have to deal with? Because i refuse to drown , i refuse to give up on being as determined as i always like to believe i am, i to get sucked into the pit at the bottom of the glass where many a men on an alcoholic spree confuses with a crytall ball? No the bottom of the glass does NOT tell you the future...NO it does no comfort you ...No its not the answer to all the woe's that u CREATE for yourself.
Getting to the other side of the table is not that hard when you're destination isnt being screened out by distractions that you encounter along your way. Its not hard when you know that there will always be a soft bread landing at the end of it.because God wont let you fall.If you fall its be cause you havent made the right choice , you havent showcased any foresight, you havent measured your steps before you leaped. Not that you will ever admit it.Not that i will ever admit it.Not directly at least.
Sometimes i might hate my dinner table of a life. I might wonder why i got stuck with it instead of having that barbeque set of a life ! Sometimes i love it so much because its mine.Its the one thing that is mine. That im accountable for, that i can share with all the people in my life, friends, strangers, family, animals......Its a gift. Each time i try and understand life, i see a new perspective of it. How awesome and wondrous would something be, if it lasted forever ,beyond time, if it was embedded in everything we did or didnt do, said or didnt say,if it was something we couldn't live without , heck if these words would not be words without!?!How can you reallly live without life? If that doesnt make you want to love life, nothing will.