2 days to go.... a new year....but you know what... its not exciting me. I dont know if it will NEVER excite me again or whether its just this year or whether its just today.Brings me to think of how we reallly do NOT know whats in store for us, next year, next minute, next second even and because its not in our control we tend to create little multiple possibilities of what might happen so that we have some satisfaction. Control freaks...thats what we have become! We need to know everything and no mattter how much we may say we're taking things as they come , we cant, not genuinely because in our brains theres always a "this could happen or that might just happen".We have this unconscious tendency to control ourselves to an extent that we do not know how to truly let go and see what God has in store for us. Creator of everything we know, c'mon  you'd think He'd have at least a leeeetle more wisdom than we think we have? Wheres the trust.?
I know...WAYYY easier said than done. When you have these plans in your head and more often than not they do not go according to our fantastic pre planned direction , we jsut cannot see beyond the road block.All we can see is this poisonous smoke screen of anger and frustration because this isnt what WE WANTED. God, this isnt what i ordered!! i want my money back!!
Really? we dont have even the slightest reason to be angry or mad .Half the things that are thrown at us are either so because theres soemthing crazilly exciting in store for us soon or because we have slowly ventured into them ourselves. Suck it up. deal with it:)
So yeah, how is this new year going to be different? i dont know. i do know that today was different from what i thought it would be. Very different. No i did not like it , more like detested it. Like nail biting, hair pulling,ears smoking, eyes wellling up , heading spinning  DIFFERENT.Iwanted to be singing a happy song, instead im blaring linkin park's oh -so- apt lyrics and humming the  blues. Is this what i wanted??NEVER. But its what i got.Spoilt for choice. Ive been spoilt for choice. Always got what i wanted in life ,never known this feeling(or ive forgotten it) and now i have to face it.And even though i do not ever stick to my new years resolutions i want to try and be thankful this year. I always felt like its somehting only old people do on their death bed but life is starting to get too unpredictable:P old people are becommin young, young peopel old, guys liek guys, people live in their past, some in the future, kids get kids, we live ina loony world , loony enough to make some of us want to live straight lives!
so point being...Thank, appreciate, live,love,forgive,and respect. The hardest resolutions to ever stick to but the msot essential and also the most forgotten amidst our every day issues. Not jsut for this new year but evey minute that you are kept alive.
=)
Here's to a grateful new year and a fruitful life that we may learn to appreciate our lives, our relationships and that we may learn to acknowledge our blessings !!
Muchhhh love
Tee =)